What Are You Thinking Right Now

/me thinks Mondays are not too bad when I get to spend some of it with my Master as I did yesterday!

I am thinking I should have posted a long freaking time ago...

/me thinks about Kajuralia-day 2009 and compares it to that same event in 2008. What a difference and what a party it was in 2008... with masters dancing in the dance-pit in the tavern, warriors dressed in pink silks, parades of slaves and free men/women... hopefully the next Kajuralia day will be a big mad party again

Arthor wrote:

/me thinks about Kajuralia-day 2009 and compares it to that same event in 2008. What a difference and what a party it was in 2008... with masters dancing in the dance-pit in the tavern, warriors dressed in pink silks, parades of slaves and free men/women... hopefully the next Kajuralia day will be a big mad party again

I wasn't going to respond to this at first thinking that maybe I am misunderstanding what you are saying, but I can't help myself, this comment upset me and hurt my feelings so I'm going to respond.

A lot of people DID have fun, a lot of people put time into this. I'm sorry you are comparing it to last year and finding it lacking. I'm sorry we didn't measure up to whatever standards you have for us. However why not try highlighting the positive instead of what you deem to be the negative. It's amazing what effect it has on people when you stop pointing out the negative and look at the positive. You likely won't upset people and hurt their feelings when you do that. If you don't believe me there are multitudes of resources that back up my theory, I've included a few examples.


What we focus on, we empower and enlarge. Good multiplies when focused upon. Negativity multiplies when focused upon. The choice is ours: Which do we want more of?
JULIA CAMERON, Blessings


People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?
'Thich Nhat Hanh'


Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.
Shirley MacLaine


I'm sorry if my comment makes anyone uncomfortable, but I find the best way to deal with a miscommunication, or a perceived slight, is head on. The best weapon against passive-aggressiveness is blunt honesty. If this was the first time I would have let it go, but it's not.

Arthor wrote:

/me thinks about Kajuralia-day 2009 and compares it to that same event in 2008. What a difference and what a party it was in 2008... with masters dancing in the dance-pit in the tavern, warriors dressed in pink silks, parades of slaves and free men/women... hopefully the next Kajuralia day will be a big mad party again

Huh, don't remember seeing or hearing hide, nor hair of you with regard to the preps, dude. If I'm wrong, I'll kiss your feet right here in these forums.

To everyone who has some fancy quip about any sim anywhere, especially one you proclaim call your "Home Stone" (especially if you are rarely there): either step-up or shut-up.

:/

Meh.

What I am thinking about right now: that a lot of people are so full of BS they have nothing better to do than to find a way to put a negative spin on everything and feel the insatiable urge to make their opinions known to everyone who really don't even want to hear it in what they think is a covert little insults, thinking they are slick and wise and better than all the "stupid" people who don't get the real insult so thinly disguised between the lines, but really only removing all doubt about actual disposition.

That would be a lot of people that use forums of any kind, I suppose.
For any and all who read this thinking I am meaning you specifically: well, gee, if you feel that way, then I guess I must me, right?

I have been in Laura on Kajuralia day, almost spending my whole sunday until about 09:00PM Euro-time. And I am very sorry that I went offline for about 1,5 hours in the afternoon to ride my Suzuki, because it was such beautiful weather. Oh.. and I am sorry too I had to fix dinner because the kids are not big enough yet to do that themselves, being 7 and 5 years old.

All the time I was in Laura on Kajuralie I have seen 4 people around at max. Never more. And I had some fun in the slavers house when Ceri ordered me to get some water for a caged girl and afterwards kissed me, laughing and yelling "Kajuralia". Then later I saw Fuszea and Kate in the pavillion, Fuz being only in loin cloth. I talked to them, but they also were just sitting alone there waiting for something to happen. And again on that day a black night warrior from Luna lands came to ask how the matter about 'lady Alexandra'was to be settled. Again, I say, because that is the third time in a row that I am dealing with those guys regarding that matter, and now they, because no one from Laura responds, hold me responsible for compensation payment.

Am I negative? Perhaps, but it was not meant to be. Laura however, is boring for several weeks now. Nothing happens really. My companion feels the same and tried to spice up things twice now last week, the second time being jailed and then left there without any RP for three days because there just never was anyone online who has a say in what should happen with her. ((An offline IM would have been good even, to know someone was paying attention)). But then, just before the homestone ceremony, I was allowed to free her, perhaps it was meant to have the square less empty at the ceremony....

Am I angry now ? YES, I am!! Because you, Americans, who always seem to know everything better than anyone in the whole world, see my posting as negative and then add things to it that really hurt. I suggest you close Laura for non-US people so you can close the gates when all of you Americans are asleep.. Oh, and don't forget to tack a scroll to the closed gates that tell visitors when the gates will be opened.

Laura was my home for months, I have had fun there. And all people but one, that really matter have left. I am sorry Alexandra, I am leaving too now. I will empty my house tonight (Ari, keep the change.. you might need it). And don't bother to ban me, because I will stay out of my own free will forever.

Arthor wrote:

I have been in Laura on Kajuralia day, almost spending my whole sunday until about 09:00PM Euro-time. And I am very sorry that I went offline for about 1,5 hours in the afternoon to ride my Suzuki, because it was such beautiful weather. Oh.. and I am sorry too I had to fix dinner because the kids are not big enough yet to do that themselves, being 7 and 5 years old.

Just as you had things to do, so did others, including me, why be negative about it? It happens to all of us, we're there at different times. There were some I didn't see when I was online, I didn't make a negative post about the entire event because of it.

(I think the earlier question about your time was where were you during the preparation of this or any other event, not during it)

Arthor wrote:

Am I negative? Perhaps, but it was not meant to be.

I'm sorry, I read it as negative, what was it meant to be?

Arthor wrote:

Laura however, is boring for several weeks now. Nothing happens really.

This will be the third time at least I've suggest and welcomed and encouraged you to organize something that would better coincide with your schedule. Lots happens when I'm there, I'm not sure how to make things happen when you are there as we rarely are on at the same time.

Arthor wrote:

Am I angry now ? YES, I am!! Because you, Americans, who always seem to know everything better than anyone in the whole world, see my posting as negative and then add things to it that really hurt. I suggest you close Laura for non-US people so you can close the gates when all of you Americans are asleep.. Oh, and don't forget to tack a scroll to the closed gates that tell visitors when the gates will be opened

1) I'm not American 2) you started with the negativity I merely stated it was hurtful and unproductive and that being positive is more constructive 3) What does it have to do with closing gates to non-US people? I'm lost

Arthor wrote:

Laura was my home for months, I have had fun there.

See, was that so hard to say something positive? I'm sorry you haven't been having fun, but to bash an entire event and the people who did have a good time really didn't create for more fun did it?

Arthor, You were upset about how your companion tried to "spice things up" so I don't think you should be using those events in a positive light saying she was trying to get something going when you were mad she did it. The magistrate is not here on weekends, been that way from the start of his posting to the job, why that now surprises you or offends you I have no idea.

I'm dead sick of a couple of people constantly complaining that NOTHING happens during Euro time, when they won't lift a finger to help make stuff happen during those times. Seriously Arthor, do not blame us when you're not willing to work towards things happening during those times. Put yourself in our shoes and see just exactly what YOU'D do differently were this a Euro-timed sim. Would you work your ass off trying to make stuff happen on American time? What if those Americans wouldn't do jack to help? Never bothered to show up during the American timed events you did plan but then they complained constantly that nothing was scheduled during their time?

That is what we see here, we have tried to schedule things during your time frame, and from what I understand you don't show up to them. Dren and Aisha do, but it seem they are the only two who will do so consistently.

If you find Laura so boring over the past few months, I'd like to know what you've done to help alleviate that boredom? It flat out just is not our job to constantly entertain you. YOU are a big boy, a grown up, YOU are responsible for your roleplay. Have you brought RP ideas or events to the council to see if you could implement them? If so I've missed them.

NO sim is going to make you happy if you refuse to take part in things, of course you're going to find it boring. You have to try as well, and if you have been trying with an honest effort and I've just not seen it then I apologize. But we do try to hold events during Euro time, meaning we have to be up during times we normally sleep, only to have Dren and Aisha be the only ones that show up for them. How about you holding an event during that time? Or even show up for one we hold then. THEN you'd have a right to complain that we are boring at least. I hold no grudges nor do I have any hard feelings towards you, but when I hear such complaints when the complainer hasn't lifted a finger to help us out in the very matters they are complaining about, I'm going to speak out. Especially when we've tried hard to make things happen where you could attend, and you've not bothered to show for them.

I wish you well in your new home, where ever that might be. Maybe you can find a Euro based sim that will be more awake when you are.

Ari Blackthorne wrote:

For any and all who read this thinking I am meaning you specifically: well, gee, if you feel that way, then I guess I must me, right?

Not me, if I wanna insult you, I'll walk up and do it to your face and feel fully justified in doing so

Hang in there Ari, some people just have no other way to let out their frustrations than to lash out.

Arthor, this is exactly the point. I know it is dull during euro times. I know that. But every time I put out a notice asking for folks on euro time to help with events, I get nothing. Every time I schedule something, no one shows up. I hosted a city meeting for the euro time folks, two people made it. What exactly would you like me to do? I can no more quit my job and stay home to host euro time events any more than you can to be there for the US timed events.

What should I do? What do you want? I got up at 7am my time on a saturday to come in and host a city meeting, to hear from the european citizens. Dren and Aisha were the only two that came. I got up early to get things ready, and hosted the swearing and feast this past saturday. You were there, kudos, but no one else was. 14 people were online at the time, and 4 showed up.

What Ari is saying, in his usually socially awkward way, is what do you want from us? I would really like to have some fun RP too, but never get to, you know why? Because I am always trying to come up with events, plan them, staff them, and make them work. If you want events during euro time, step up and help with them. I can't be there 24 hours a day. I ask, and I ask, and I ask, and end up doing it all myself because no one comes forward.

This city is what you make it. Each and every one of us has a contribution to make. Make it, or accept what it is. If it is boring during the prime times for europeans, then it is boring because each of you waits for someone else to make things happen for you. I am here to run the city, not create your RP. I hear this all the time from slaves. "The free never RP with us, we are bored." Then step up and initiate some RP yourself.

It comes down to everyone thinking that all the good stuff that happens in Laura just magically comes into being. For the week of Carnival, myself, Linn, Sage, Loreena, Gavin, and others worked for more than two weeks of planning, scheduling, creating props, planning games, rearranging our real lives to provide things for others.

What we got in return was "gee, this isn't as cool as last time."

Well, you are welcome, Arthor. Thank you for making our hard work so rewarding. It is things like that that make it all worthwhile, and make me want so badly to put myself out, work hard, and provide fun for you again in the future.

I appreciate you are angry now. Maybe you won't stay, maybe you will. But I am angry now too. Maybe you should ask your fellow europeans where they were? Why were they out somewhere else, instead of in the city they chose? Why is it boring during those times, when there are 14 "citizens" online?

The city is what we all make it. If you wait around for someone to entertain you, don't be surprised if it is dull. If everyone wants to go elsewhere because no one is entertaining them, don't be surprised if it is dull

The only thing I tried to express in my first thought was "What a pity Kajuralia was so different from last year, hopefully next time it will be lots of fun again"... Why is that negative, when I also write my hopes for next time ?

Then, unexpectedly two people really 'fall' over me... Well, indeed.. it hurted badly. It's not that important how much hours I have spent in Laura being on my own and certainly no one has to create RP for me. I have walked up to people I saw in the square lots of times and talked on various subjects. And I always have advertised Laura as the city to be... surely when I saw people leaving and just tried to help by interesting others in living in the city.

And be sure I will miss this city... it was my homestone.
The books say "Warriors do not cry"... well, I can tell you.. The books are wrong !

That's great, Arthor. Maybe we have a language disconnect here, I don't know. But nowhere in this did you say "Hey, kajuralia was great, even if not the same as last year!". Your post sounded like a basic "Hey, why wasn't this better" post to me. that is personally offensive, given that I spent 10 hours a day for two weeks trying to set things up. So did linn and the rest. We get no thanks, no attaboys, no "good job". We get "gee, wasn't as cool as last year".

Maybe its a language barrier, but I can't see that as anything more than a "why didn't you guys do more" statement. The fact is, I give all I have now. I don't HAVE anything else to give.

If you stay, you are welcome. If you don't, then I wish you well in your new home. I have no hard feelings, I am sorry you do.

I know you guys have put a lot of effort in setting things up in the carnival week. My thought was merely an observation, never meant as a personal attack on any of you who work hard always to get things done. And me, being Dutch and used to be pretty direct in how we talk to others, may have said things in a way you would never do... indeed, it's the language barrier. No one in Holland would ever feel offended by the thought I posted.

I wish you well

If you meant that you wish the turn out for the events had been better, then that's what you should have said... not that the kajuralia this year was so bad compared to last year. Can you honestly not see the difference? And as Linn said, if you are so direct, and expect others to be, then you would not have been hurt by what we said to you either, after all we were just being direct.

Arthor wrote:

I know you guys have put a lot of effort in setting things up in the carnival week. My thought was merely an observation, never meant as a personal attack on any of you who work hard always to get things done. And me, being Dutch and used to be pretty direct in how we talk to others, may have said things in a way you would never do... indeed, it's the language barrier. No one in Holland would ever feel offended by the thought I posted.

I wish you well

I should let this go, I should REALLY let this go, but I just can't because I'm afraid I'm not completely buying the language or cultural barrier and here is why.

I don't think you deny that the intention of your post is that this one was not as good as previous right? That's fine, you are entitled to feel that way, I too have at times been disappointed with the turn out at events, so have all of us. I'm just not certain the purpose or the reaction you expected to get by letting us all know how dissapointed you were. Also if direct comments such as these are not offensive, then why did you get upset by the subsequent comments?

Think of it this way, you are a parent, what do you do and how do you feel when your children complain of being bored or not having fun?

Or what if you put on nice meal for your family and friends. After they left they took out an ad in the local newspaper saying "That meal sure wasn't as good as last year" how would you feel?

That's why I was upset, and still am, it feels like nothing I or we do is good enough. I spend 55+ hours a week in Laura for almost 6 months now, not just online, IN Laura, not to mention the hours I spend offline on things. I don't ask or expect anyone else to do the same, I never have. It does give me the right though to ask why people are so quick to point out negatives rather than positives of their very own home and fellow citizens. It becomes frustrating when it happens continuously.

I'm sorry you feel you have to leave, I'm sorry you aren't having fun, I said that right from the beginning. But I'm tired of being criticized or told I'm not doing enough, especially when I've reached out repeatedly and begged for help.

ARGG I hate this: conflict between people I like. ..

Well all I want to add is a cultural/language perspective.

I am so sorry Arthor, you are leaving. When I moved to Laura from my previous homestone, you were consistently there in my time zone to make me and others feel welcome. Praising the wonderful city of Laura at all times, very much fulfilling a role then for me, Linn has been doing for other newcomers with great success for months now.

And with an Akubra hat on, but still wearing Dutch wooden clogs, I like to say that Arthor is right about the language/cultural thing.. (We) Dutch people observe things critically and forever want to improve things and OUR first step is critical analysis. That is NOT always welcomed or seen as constructive by others; rude, blunt and obnoxious I have been called. I had to learn this principle the hard way when migrating RL homestones form Holland to Australia 25 years ago.

So a call by me to please "translate" Arthor's original message for what he was trying to express is as valid as Sage's and Markos' call for the "translation" of Ari's words.

This is merely a cultural perspective on the discussion. Personally, I am not fond of throwing mud by anyone. And I must apologise that I have such unreliable and irregular times in SL that I can’t offer more to Laura, other then to turn up for things

May Laura and it’s (ex) citizens prosper.

I have to leave for work in a very few short minutes so do not have the time to type out all that is on my mind here so let me give a short version:

Arthor, please do not leave Laura. None of us gains anything when someone leaves. None of us.

People have posted thoughts, vented, explained their stance, reached out with efforts to understand and bring resolution and perhaps there was a bit of flaming going on out of frustration; we each read into it what we will. If you leave it has all been for nothing... No lesson was learned in how different peoples of different cultures come together to form a single culture in Gor, something that most of the time, we do pretty well in Laura.

It is good to talk about expectations and to explore short comings, we all gain from it but only if we apply the lessons learned within the group where the issues arose and stick around to make it work; we all become stronger for it as a group.

@Linnet
May be I should give it one more try to explain:
My 'thought' had nothing to do with disappointment about all the work you, Markos and others have done, striving hard to make the carnival week a success. I acknowledge all that hard work and I do not envy you having to organize things as good as you can and then almost having no chance to take part in RP. Not to mention all the other work that always has to be done...
What I meant to say was that it was a pity there were so little people in Laura on Kajuralia. I spent some 8 or 9 hours there that day, longing for the fun I knew it could be... and I compared just that to the party it was in 2008 when lots of people were around.

@Dren
Thank you my friend for explaining about the cultural differences. It's true, they do exist. Having been in the USA several times I know how different we are in how we approach certain subjects, and as Email and forum postings don't show your facial expression, but just words, interpreting those postings the way they were not meant is very easily done...
Be well my friend. "Tot ziens"

@Elovar
I have left the city, I emptied my house and left the gates. I at least need a long break now.
Kate, your brothers girl, invited me to El Elovar, may be we can have a chat and a paga soon and talk about things. For the time being I will be in my castle and do some travelling on Gor to visit other cities, I spent most of my time in Laura, I may have seen some 3 or 4 other cities. It's time to explore

@Lauran citizens
I wish you all well, make Laura prosper ... it always has felt like home

Moving right along and back on track: I love my new home in Laura.

I'm thinking it's time to ruffle some vulo feathers...muahaha

Alexandrea Arabello wrote:

I'm thinking it's time to ruffle some vulo feathers...muahaha

We will cause much mischief together, my friend. Much.

Sabina wrote:

Alexandrea Arabello wrote:

I'm thinking it's time to ruffle some vulo feathers...muahaha

We will cause much mischief together, my friend. Much.

I see I came back in time then

I had 10 hours sleep last night and now I'm like this.



I average 5 hours, and I consider it a great night if I get 7 hours.

TEN HOURS

You are all in so much trouble.

Well I left my rp leave taking in the group chat the day, after I had a major meltdown.. I am sorry to any who will miss me. I do expect to be back, sooner or later, but I cannot seem to make it work right now. I know many of you have struggled too and if anyone has survival tips I would love some.. In the end I felt it was better not to bring the group down with my emotional challenges, so I am staying away for a bit. Hugs to all and well wishes. You will be in my thoughts.

PS I will still be seen online, building and will be available for OOC chat

AlexandraSophia Umarov
sophi Umarov

We've all had those moments, sweety.
I don't know what's going on, but if you need to talk or need advice I'm here. Sometimes a break is best, but don't forget you have a lot of people here in the city that are your family and care about you.
Take a breather.. turn off SL.. go for a walk, then come back when you're ready to have some fun