Hi all!
Recent events and a posting on the gorean forums has led me to wonder....
Is this just a game?
At what point does it cross over into your life? How many of you have taken on your roles in the real world? Learned something about yourself?
I know for myself, I have gained a good amount of confidence through my role as a Gorean free man. I have learned to put myself forward more, to handle more situations, and to have more confidence in decisions I make, with less agonizing over it later.
Anyone else have any thoughts on this?

To me this was never a game living the lifestyle before sl I have brought that with me. this has cause me some pain yes. i have learned that to some in there it is just a game. alot play it and dont care about the person behind the av. they play mind games. which i guess you could suspect on here. I have found this out personally. but to me it never was a game and most likely never will be

I think there is a real delicate balance and thin line between the 'gamer' and the 'lifestyler'. There is a lot of pain brought on when the 2 collide, as was mentioned in the previous post.

I think when the bottom line is drawn, we are all a bit of a lifestyler ... after all, i don't think we all come to Gor in SL right off the bat for the role play Most men come for the battle and slaves come to find a person who will dominate her. I'll let the women and panthers speak for themselves.

You see it time and time again, a gamer tells a lifestyler (or vice versa) they are into what the other wants just to get the person interested and then all hell breaks loose when one of them are pushed into situations they didn't want to be in. No shame in being a lifestyler, no shame in being a gamer. I think people should just be more open and honest about what they truly want out of the 'game' we play and then there will be a lot less stress, drama and a hell of a lot more happiness!

I have to agree with Braylene completely on this one. There are some people who won't do this in RL, the ones who simply want to roleplay and then there are some people who can go to that extreme example. I'm lucky enough to know both types, but I think in both situations, unless you're just a total nut job, the feelings grow real. Sure you might not start out loving your Master or Mistress, you might not start out in love with your Kajirae but as time grows there is a bond there, it might not be love but at the very least a friendship in which you care for the people you roleplay with.

As for a bit of a crossover from the books to real life, everything you add to yourself changes you, my thinking on certain subjects has changed a bit because of them and though it's not lifechanging and jaw dropping it does make me think.

I had the pleasure to hear the following suggested definitions from a woman I have grown to respect greatly over the last little while - the intelligent and thoughtful Bella Sloane (soon to be of Port Olni):

Quote:

Gor Gamers = People who just come for Gor-themed combat play Sex Players = Those that come to Gor to satiate a desire for Master/slave sex fetishism RP Storyliners = People who "play a character" that may or may not be anything like their own RL personality and specifically fabricate events to develop actionable activities RP Characters = People who "play a character" that may or may not be anything like their own RL personality who exist only in the immersive SL Gor environment reacting to the events that occur in the day-to-day organically occurring activities between developed characters, as they believe "their character should" RP Lifestylers = People who embody their avatars with their own RL personalities who react very personally to the immersive SL Gor environment within the cultural expectations of the fictional world of Gor and develop emotionally invested and intimate interpersonal relationships that may or may not be the same nor extend to the alternative social structure outside of SL. Real Lifestylers = People who embody their avatars with their own RL personalities who react very personally to the immersive SL Gor environment with RL expectations guided by the principals of Gorean philosophies, who may already have and/or wish to develop emotionally invested and intimate interpersonal relationships that extend beyond SL into their own similar RL social structure.

I don't think "lifestyler" vs. "gamer" is like "lightswitch on" vs. "lightswitch off." It is a continuum, and problems arise when you connect with someone too far from you on that continuum line.

Personally, Aria straddles the line between RP Character and RP Lifestyler character for me. I agree with Bray in that I think most of us are a least a "little bit" lifestylers... we wouldn't be drawn to this setting if it didn't resonate with us on a personal level. Because of this, it is important to be honest not only with others, but with yourself as well regarding your expectations and limits.

Markos, I too have learned quite a lot about myself since discovering Gor... I am more comfortable leaving major decisions to the men, I have learned to be both proud and humble, and oddly enough, I am embracing my femininity.

Hmm, those definitions are certainly very fine suggestions, and I definitely agree that when you bounce off someone too far off your line then it can be bothersome. I get quite deflated by Gor Gamers, as defined here, for example. I've nothing against them, they're just looking for something that I'm not, and what we want from the setting just doesn't mix well. I'm more of a RP Character, mixed with RP Storyliner and RP Lifestyler, going by this list.

Everyone has valid viewpoints. For myself, I am divided between RP Character and RP Lifestyler. In the HTML chats I would have been called a 'soulplayer', one who finds validity and truth in the theories of Gor and enjoys playing out a 'character'who is part of themselves. Perhaps a part of them that, for whatever reason, cannot or will not be expressed in their "real" or First Life.

Matte ne!
Eika

I like Aria's quote a lot, it seems to cover nicely what I have come to know as SL Gor. Good find Aria and thanks for sharing that!!

Gor most definitely bleeds over into RL for me and often in some funny and unexpected ways. I can for instance no longer walk through a supermarket or mall looking at the people around me without assigning caste in my mind going slave, slave, FW, Warrior, Merchant, slave, Magistrate, etc.

I have always been able to "talk like a pirate" so words like aii, nay and tis slip into my speech but are usually easy to cover and play off though have left me a little red faced at times.

...and I soooooooo wanna start wearing robes, capes and a sword!!!

Too new to know where I would categorize myself on that grid. I think mainly I am intrigued to discover that I resonate to a role that is totally unlike what I present like in RL. To live to bring beauty into the world, by working in the background, is a very real part of my RL though. But in RL, I am a leader, not a follower.

I think I hoped for a man who would bring out the slave in me but that has never happened to me in RL. It has sure happened in SL. Because of that I am happy to try to learn how to complement the roleplay. I doubt that I would have been drawn here on my own, but I'm not sure.

Certainly food for thought.

I could never deny that Gor has had an impact on my thoughts and opinions in RL.

Sometimes, I think as a woman with a firm mind and a secure sense of self, it's... difficult to find someone strong enough to dominate you. Or rather... Someone who inspires the necessary trust. There is a chasm to leap across when you've always been the one who is very capable and in control.

Suddenly, here comes a man who says he will do it for you. Will his strength be solid enough, that you can you let go, and trust your wellbeing in his hands? Like Aria mentioned, there is so much femininity to be found in doing so. In RL I have struggled with it. Mostly because.. heh. Earth isn't Gor, and not all men here would fit the Gorean ideal.

But here, online, (I keep saying it) we're lucky in Laura to have some wonderful RPers and it really helps, to be able to honestly respect these men. To show deference, and to trust their protection is wonderful. Because you know, that in playing their characters, OR embodying their avatar with their own real life beliefs, they won't let you down. If I had to be a respectful FW and defer to men who broke out of character to scratch their backside in open chat every five minutes and tp'd out during a raid because he was losing... well. There bursts that bubble. Not gonna happen.

So.. I'd have to say this business sits squarely over the RP Character/Lifestyler line for me. There is a LOT of me in Anya. And I think that's part of what makes her so enjoyable to play.

To that end... OMG Elovar... You have no idea how often I find myself calling someone a Silly Vulo in real life... or telling them something is uglier than a Bosk, or I'll be back in an Ahn. Stupid... how these little Gorean colloquialisms can sink into your consciousness, only to resurface at inappropriate moments.

Me thinks we are in good company Lady Anya and have read as much from others on other boards out there in the world.

I have to wonder how it is that something that is as intense and powerful as Gor not affect a person in some way. When in-world I try to make the happenings as real as my mind will allow so I know I carry events and things that have been said into my RL world and will often think about them as my mind wanders during the course of my work a day world.

What a wonderful post by the Mistress Anya. Much wisdom there that truly speaks to my own experience of life and Men. I hope I may learn more from the Mistress in future as she is both wise and learned.

I fully believe I have found such a one.

I am a very spirited one and hard to tame but my Master is doing it less with the whip than with the strength within himself. One hard look is enough to bring me to my knees. One smile fills my heart for days.

Humm I'd say I'm about 20% RP Character and 80% RP Lifestyler.

I am a changed person in RL due to my time in SL Gor. It was most evident when going on an interview a while back for a job in the city. I have always been confident and always have had a dominant personality but have also always had a major worry streak in me that influenced things. I still have that (those of you who know me know this LOL), but it is GREATLY reduced due the effects of playing a Gorean master.

Go Gor!

Very new to this, and Gor. I'll put out what I think now and then look back and laugh at this post in a few weeks?!?


I think Aria has relayed the offer of a pretty good set of "catagories", though like Snow I think there is room for overlap.

I see myself as:
Gor Gamers = 0% Maybe to increase
Sex Players = 0% With this and the last one both 0%, what am I doing in Gor then? Well, this may increase but I'm pretty selective and not into "just get myself satisfied". On the other hand, I do enjoy the satisfaction of a good connection and sex in that context can be great. Thus I won't/don't take the slave's sexual submission lightly, nor can I treat it flippantly or take it for granted because of M/s status and choices alone.
RP Storyliners = 3% Right now, though I'd like this to soon be 30%
RP Characters = 47%, to be probably 20% soon.
RP Lifestylers = 50%. I like myself in RL and SL(s) and don't play it far from "me" with neither the desire to nor the ability.
Real Lifestylers = 0% SL is entertainment to me, not eniterly fictional but with real personalities involved. Yet I can't say that Gor has any effect on my RL.