Physicians Lounge

Elovar · Subject: Physicians Lounge Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:59 pm

WOMAN'S YEARLY EXAM

Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basics.

How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 4,' I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'2'.

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and

slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac. What a bitch.

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"If you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so." Marauders page 10

gavinK · Subject: Re: Physicians Lounge Sun Feb 22, 2009 8:27 pm

Bwahahahahaha. lol!

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"Perhaps the world only speaks to those who are prepared to listen." (Beasts of Gor, p.29)

Aria · Subject: Re: Physicians Lounge Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:25 pm

LOL!!

_________________
The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you can become. -–Unknown

Elovar · Subject: Re: Physicians Lounge Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:13 am

After having their eleventh child, a redneck couple decided that they had enough children. So, the husband went to his doctor, who also treated mules, and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed the man to go home, light a cherry bomb,put it into a beer can, and then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The redneck said, "I may not be the smartest guy on the block, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can, and putting it next to my ear is going to help me." The doctor assured the man that the procedure was guaranteed to work.

The man left the doctor's office and when we arrived home, he lit a cherry bomb and put it into a beer can. Then, he held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5." The man paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand...

_________________
"If you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so." Marauders page 10

Aria · Subject: Re: Physicians Lounge Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:43 am

..........ohmahgawd. Shocked

.../me furiously scribbles notes, then looks up with a grin, "Keep 'em coming, please!"

_________________
The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you can become. -–Unknown

Elovar · Subject: Re: Physicians Lounge Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:24 pm

Having lunch one day, a sex therapist said to her friend, "According to a survey we just completed, ninety percent of all people masturbate in the shower. Only ten percent of them sing."

"Really?" asked the friend.

The therapist shook her head and proceeded to ask, "And do you know what song they sing?"

The friend nodded her head and replied, "No."

The therapist replied, "I didn't think so."

_________________
"If you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so." Marauders page 10

Sage · Subject: Re: Physicians Lounge Fri Mar 06, 2009 5:59 pm

LMAO

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Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

"Beware your words," I cautioned her.
"I am a free woman," she said. "I can speak as I please."
I could not gainsay her in this. She was free. She could, accordingly, say what she wished, and without requiring permission.
Mercenaries of Gor - Page 7

Elovar · Subject: Re: Physicians Lounge Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:17 am

The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn.

"Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor.

"Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation had failed."

_________________
"If you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so." Marauders page 10